Is this a dead end?

Death comes to us in the form of our fondest memory.

I don't have many happy memories.  The few I have have been tainted by the sorrow of the aftermaths. The people I met, the things I did, everything. All of it has ended badly for me, one way or the other.

This last year hasn't been any easier for me, but it hasn't been harder either. I've tried all I could to improve. Didn't turned out right in the end.

I've sinked in depression too many times. True, some people have managed to get me out of them, but they can't be there for me always. I can't count on people being looking after me all the time, but what can I do? I can't help myself. It's like if there was a corner in the room where all the darkness lurked, waiting to jump on me on my weakest time.

Sometimes I think everything would be a lot more easier if I were a ghost. Who would care about me? I would be able to do what I wanted, without consequences. I would be lonely, yeah, but I already am. Sort of.

Anyway, I just wanted to let it go. Say everything before next year starts.

Hope you had a Happy Christmas, and I wish you the best of lucks for the next year.